and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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