Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
