dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize