Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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