Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
