even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
