I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
