just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
