thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
