Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
