I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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