She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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