Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I met the friendliest cop last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
