Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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