well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
