It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
