Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize