are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
