just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am spending my child support on dildos
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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