What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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