so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
