Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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