We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my being single is dangerous.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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