Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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