Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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