My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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