you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
