We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
