I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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