nut hugger
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
