i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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