Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
