So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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