According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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