His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
