No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
