Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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