Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
