This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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