So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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