so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
