i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
