Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
