onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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