I have demons in me.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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