Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
