That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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