his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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