I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
