Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
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I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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