drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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