ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My feet surprised me
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