Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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