And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
