found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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