This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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