i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's always time for handjobs
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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