i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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