he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
