I bet he comes in French.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
